Dating and finding love as an expat in Hungary

Can't wait to see some answers here!

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Can't wait to see some answers here!

Me too. They say coming to Hungary alone means you won't leave alone. 

But apart from some cultural differences, pretty much people get into it the same way all over. 

If anything will get in the way it's language and communications but then again as the language of love is universal, these barriers can be overcome.

I wouldn't mind hearing about say some really large culturally divided couples like Eskimo and Roma or say Hungarian and Maori.   

I did see a TV programme once about some woman from the UK who lived with her Masai husband and 3 kids in a mud hut in a national game reserve  in Africa somewhere.  She'd been there like 20+ years.  She dressed as a native, spoke the language and spent her time in the bush and educating tourists.  Seemed a very odd situation.

fluffy2560 wrote:

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Can't wait to see some answers here!

Me too. They say coming to Hungary alone means you won't leave alone. 

But apart from some cultural differences, pretty much people get into it the same way all over. 

If anything will get in the way it's language and communications but then again as the language of love is universal, these barriers can be overcome.

I wouldn't mind hearing about say some really large culturally divided couples like Eskimo and Roma or say Hungarian and Maori.   

I did see a TV programme once about some woman from the UK who lived with her Masai husband and 3 kids in a mud hut in a national game reserve  in Africa somewhere.  She'd been there like 20+ years.  She dressed as a native, spoke the language and spent her time in the bush and educating tourists.  Seemed a very odd situation.

I think I watched the same documentary about the UK women and her bush husband.
I actually do know a Roma /HU man who lives in a hut in HIlo with his "Eskimo" wife. They had 2 sons.
Nice people but neither of them ever held a job to my knowledge.
I mentioned before they live in a hut near a forest area in Hawaii with no running water, power of anything. Lived that way for well over 30 years.
I will say one thing I do believe is true Hungarian men are very dominate at times.
All because they are very passionate and protective.
It can be too much for some women maybe but if the right 2 people get together it is a solid relationship.
My sister had a HU boyfriend and it was hot and cold, he was far too bossy for her and she too wild at times for him.
My mother warned me when I told her i met a HU man, she said they are too bossy for American women.
Could be true but hey, my mom was allot more bossy then my husband could ever dream of. I'm used to people having my back, if they don't then I have no need of them.
Strong man for a strong minded women, a faint hearted lady might snap under pressure with a Hungarian man,
Controlling is the word I'm looking for, all good though if the person does what they do out of love.
Not an expert about Hungarian women although they are great moms and seem like great homemakers, at least the old fashioned ladies were that way.
Smart at times , sometimes too smart for their husbands, smart enough though to not let them know it.
Nearly 44 years with my HU husband . hmm, one of us is nuts that's for sure!

I have dated a Hungarian when I lived here in 2001-2006, and I am again dating a Hungarian from 2017, although not the same one.
There are many differences with my American partners who are much more individualistic. The "What's in it for me" is omnipresent in American relationships -- you see that in movies, hear it in music.
Europeans in general take a more "communitarian" approach and look to the family and the importance of just being with someone who elevates your life in some way. Doesn't have to be the knight in shining armor, doesn't have to be the trophy wife, just someone who you can take to the restaurant and talk to, walk hand in hand, travel with, have fun with, someone who looks out for your interests as well as their own.
But the question is about Hungarians specifically so....
The traditional gender roles are very much alive and present in Hungary; women take care of the household chores, cleaning, and kids; men take car of the car, repairs, and careers.  As rare as it is to find a "house husband" in the US, it's a pink elephant here in HU!  A creature of legend, not reality.
With a 2+ year maternity leave, many women in stable relationships are looked at as potential baby makers, so are perceived as less economically preferable.  Since I like the idea of someone home with the baby, I have no problem with this, but again, being gender stereotyped, it's the mother getting the leave with the father just a short time off.  However, it is HU law that parents get 2 more paid annual leave days than their no-children counterparts at work.  So there's some recognition of the demands of parenthood on both parties.
I think Hungarians are pre-disposed to finding partners, they really don't like the single life.  Some of that is economic, no doubt. Couples stay in the relationship because splitting up is expensive.  But overall, my personal experience has been quite positive regarding Hungarian partners. Zsazsa Gabor had 9 husbands, her sister Eva had 5.... I am not the only one attracted to Hungarians!

Vicces1 wrote:

. Zsazsa Gabor had 9 husbands, her sister Eva had 5.... I am not the only one attracted to Hungarians!

Probably not your intention, but that may give the impression that Hungarian women can be difficult to live with .....   

klsallee wrote:

Vicces1 wrote:

. Zsazsa Gabor had 9 husbands, her sister Eva had 5.... I am not the only one attracted to Hungarians!

Probably not your intention, but that may give the impression that Hungarian women can be difficult to live with .....   

That's funny, old Susan Gabriel( AKA Zsazsa herself) was in the fantasy world of Hollywood so it wouldn't be fair to judge your everyday HU women by her standards of behavior.
I personally believe it really doesn't matter much who nationality a person is but how they were raised and how they behave.
I have been married to my HU husband for 40 years, together for nearly 45 years.
Of course every relationship has it's ups and downs but for decades now we are at peace with each other.
He and I both were never spoiled much a children and learned to share while growing up, I am more outgoing then my husband is so together I say we make up one well balanced person, we are a team.
Neither my husband or I ever have put money or personal gain before our relationship.
We have been well off and not so well off over the years, doesn't matter if your going through hard times with the right person at your side.
My husband is the sort to always put his family first . Hard working and honest to a tee.
We always talk over any issues and we both know each others tipping points and never go that far with each other.
I'ts called respect.
I will say one thing that I have found to be very true, you can judge a man by how he treats his mother.
My husband even went so far as to treat my mother as gold as well as his own mom.
Any young women should seriously look at how a guy treats their mom, if he is rude to her or doesn't give her allot of understanding then you can see your future, once the honeymoon period is over with he will treat you like he does his mom.
If you find a person who puts your interests first and you put their interests first then it is a perfect match.

Just a few more thoughts on this subject.

People are both good and bad and what country they come from really doesn't matter.
There of course are a few cultural differences if each person in a relationship is from a totally different background.
One of my BFF's has been married to a man from Iran since she was 17, she is now 63 and they are tight as ever.
She a blonde haired blue eyed Cali gal and he from a well to do Persian family.
They started with some money from his family but after awhile they pulled back on helping them, mostly because she was not Persian, Didn't matter to them, they did it all on their own after the first start up funds 
No one ever helped my husband or I with financial issues, we did everything good or bad together, rich then poor then floating , all good money is very shallow if that's what makes someone attractive to another.
When I met my husband I was 19, he was a refugee aged 26 who barely spoke English, met in Cali.
I could care less about how much money he had or what he could do for me.
So not all American women are looking for money or power.
My son was married shortly to a HU women who was a nightmare, only wanted what he could do for her.
I won't get into it but 2 wedding dresses he was expected to buy for her, a big wedding, food and gifts for her guests and an endless appetite that could never be filled.That was just the  start of his troubles with her.
Divorced now, thank you God!
Now his current wife is from Japan and she never asks for anything, I'm the one mentioning he should buy her new shoes, mama's gotta have a new pair of shoes after all.
My long time HU husband and i have shared caviar as well as a can of tuna together, money doesn't matter at all that's a weak base to start a relationship, it will not last if it is all about what's in it for me.
My husband the other day was speaking with our son and said when he met me I was always talking. I thought I was shy and quiet back then!
He said he thought to himself, wow this girl is entertaining, I will never need a radio!
One must also have a sense of humor to last because life will throw everyone allot of curve balls and without humor it will be allot harder to get through the hard times as a couple.

Just a follow up thought... Religion.
Marriage is a religious institution. Most Hungarians are not religious, the churches are filled with grandmothers, but fewer and fewer young people. This is a trend throughout Western Europe, and is not simply a Hungarian movement.  The point is that I know more and more Hungarians who get married for legal reasons only, not as part of a religious ceremony. They do it for the benefits, security, financials, etc. but less so for the "til death do us part" bit.  Again, a trend mirrored in many countries.
Marriage is fine, long-term partnership is fine, it's more of a choice with the young'uns. 

Gay marriage is still illegal in Hungary and Orban institutionalized that in passing his Civil Partnership laws, but gays can still get most of the benefits of marriage.  I do not know of a large push to recognize same sex anything in Hungary, simple equality and individual rights.

Vicces1 wrote:

Just a follow up thought... Religion.
Marriage is a religious institution. Most Hungarians are not religious, the churches are filled with grandmothers, but fewer and fewer young people. This is a trend throughout Western Europe, and is not simply a Hungarian movement.  The point is that I know more and more Hungarians who get married for legal reasons only, not as part of a religious ceremony. They do it for the benefits, security, financials, etc. but less so for the "til death do us part" bit.  Again, a trend mirrored in many countries. Marriage is fine, long-term partnership is fine, it's more of a choice with the young'uns.

I'd say it's dead as a dodo. 

In my own country, the UK, about 70% of children are born outside of a marriage.

Conversely, a lot of people I know do the official ceremony in the registry office and then have the church thing, despite not being in a church for many years.  It's an excuse for a party but hardly necessary.   More tradition than belief.  All spectacle and no substance.

Vicces1 wrote:

Gay marriage is still illegal in Hungary and Orban institutionalized that in passing his Civil Partnership laws, but gays can still get most of the benefits of marriage.  I do not know of a large push to recognize same sex anything in Hungary, simple equality and individual rights.

I think this unlikely to survive that long.  It's riding on the right wing wave that is OV/Trump/Putin etc. 

The tide elsewhere is going against such restrictions and anyone supporting it would begin to look like a silly stick-in-the-mud dinosaur. 

Typical challenge scenario played out would be that a gay local person wants to bring their foreign spouse with them to set up home locally and being refused recognition over some aspect as a family unit.

Therefore the foreign spouse would be prevented from joining or receiving some benefit from their partner - could be anything (health, inheritance, this and that). 

And then that'll be in breach of ECHR rulings on right to a private life/family life and eventually that law would need to be removed or modified.   

Been challenged across multiple jurisdictions in recent history - Hong Kong or more relevant perhaps Romania.