Do Khmer girls have multiple boyfriends?

Do a runner

@Moxy1311 are you not to old to get the k1 visa? Sounds like she wants you to ask. My wife asked me and had never had a bf or even hugged a man before. But she was 24 and I was 32. She had 30 of her family come interview me kinda. Why don't you just ask her sister/mom or dad for truth. Ask the neighbors idk it's all a gamble hard to know what to Do. But khmer is the least promiscuous of them all.

I agree just do a runner mate... Also dunno if this is still right but your to old shes blagging you.

Cambodia sets age limit for foreign husbands

DHNS

Last Updated 03 May 2018, 11:52 IST

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Foreigners who earn less than $2,550 per month are also barred from wedding local women, foreign ministry spokesman Koy Kuong told AFP, but the restrictions do not apply to weddings taking place overseas.

Marriages between old men and young women are "inappropriate", Koy Kuong said, and foreign men who wish to marry nationals must earn a high salary to ensure that "Cambodian women can live a decent life".

"We are preventing fake marriages and human trafficking," he said, adding that the government was aware of cases, documented by rights groups, where Cambodian women were sent into prostitution or "used as slaves" in their husband's home country.

The Cambodian foreign ministry has sent a diplomatic note to all the embassies and consulates in the country informing them of the new regulations, which came into effect on March 1.

Kek Galabru, president of local human rights group Licadho, praised the government's intention to protect Cambodian brides.

But she said the new guidelines "go against Cambodian marriage law and international law" -- specifically the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women.

"This is discrimination against women because they will not be allowed to marry men who are over 50... while Cambodian men can marry any foreign woman they choose," she said.

Cambodia imposed a temporary ban on foreign marriages in 2008 to prevent human trafficking, amid concern over a sharp rise in the number of brokered unions involving South Korean men and poor Cambodian women.

That ban followed an International Organisation for Migration report that said many Cambodian brides suffered abuse after moving to South Korea in marriages hastily arranged by brokers who made large profits.

The restriction was lifted about eight months later after new laws were introduced to prevent women becoming mail-order brides

@Moxy1311

Most Khmer ladies that go with older Barongs do it for the money. That's all they want, and they don't care about anything else. They'll say and do whatever you want to hear long as you keep giving them money and keep paying for everything, be it land, a house, a business, gold, phones, clothes, or food. But their fondness and affection are insincere and faked. They look for foreigners to play this scam on and will take every last dime out of them they can. Usually, they do it one Barong at a time, but rest assured they've done it before and will do it again after you're gone.

The exception to that rule is when a 'regular', goodhearted, honest, Buddha loving Khmer lady sincerely takes a shine to a Barong and is interested in having a meaningful, long-term relationship with him. This doesn't happen often, as most good Khmer women want a good Khmer man. Good Khmer women understand foreigners can and will eventually leave, and they don't want or need that drama, so they just won't go there. Also, good Khmer women aren't promiscuous at all. They can stay celibate for years and are perfectly happy doing so. And most simply aren't attracted to Barongs, they're attracted to Khmer men. The good Khmer women that are attracted to Barongs are out there, but they're few and far between.

Sounds to me like this lady is a scammer. The meet my family and ask my mom if you can marry me line may be sincere, but the part about multiple men 'loving' her makes the whole deal shady. Good Khmer women only want one good, long-term man, and they don't 'date around' like western women do. They just aren't culturally built like that. And the come meet my family trick is used by a lot of scammers as it makes you believe they're sincere, but they're not. The ploy is designed to make you feel secure, to think that the relationship is serious, so that you'll then feel safe about starting to spend money on big-ticket items: land, houses, gold, jewelry, phones, etc. A lot of Barongs have had their local bank accounts wiped out by these women, after their names are added to the accounts, from tens of thousands of dollars down to a few thousand.

Of course, I don't know if this lady's real or not. That's up to you to figure out. But watch your Barong step here in Cambodia when going after young Khmer women. And I do hope you find a good one, like I did. But it took me two times for a charm, as the first one was a scammer, and got 25k out of me, until I finally figured out for sure she was a bad one. 23k I gave freely to her, and 2k she stole from my ABA bank account using the cell phone I bought her to transfer the money. (Yeah, I put my bank app on the phone I bought her! And yeah, that's when I finally knew for sure she was bad.)

I wish you good luck!

Your 56 so find a lady who is 46 then you will both have something in common to start with because when you are 66 she will be 56 and you will both still have common interests, but 23 years difference not a good balance, when your retired at 66 she will be only 43  add another ten years your 76 and she is 53, would you marry a 76 year old Khmer femail when you was a 53 year old berang ?, 10 years is best age difference between a couple anymore is a big gamble, old fashioned maybe but reality nobody ever likes, young girls older but old men get older much quicker, move on buddy she's to complicated.

@marzlilly thanks.

I have actually met the family and I am flying back to cambodia for her sisters wedding.

funnily enough my "gf" works for Aba bank assuming she hasnt gone to great expense to stage multiple photoshoots in their uniform.

I think she was saying that others have expressed an interest in her in the past.

I have explained to her how that sounded.

Not had much experience with Khmer ladies, but I have been to thailand many times and the games are similar over there.

The plan is for her to move here and that was at my suggestion late into the relationship.

She hasnt asked for money and her family although poor by western standards seem to be doing ok, and at least 2 of the girls (inc my GF) are educated to a high standard. Her siblings and brother in law all speak and understand english very well (one is a teacher).

I am not feeling the scam vibe and I am forever mindful when some girl mentions money too me its a red flag straight away.

I guess it was the way she said it, like the old thai girl joke. "one of my 5 boyfriends has slept with another girl, I will never trust men again"

a man has two brains, are you sure which one you are using, move on my friend.

@Moxy1311

Well yeah, if she works at ABA bank then she's definitely a 'regular', goodhearted, honest, hardworking Khmer lady, and they're hard for Barongs to find. You're lucky if she cares about you and is interested in marrying you. I say go for it!

@marzlilly I read over the entire thread. Really the truth is there is no truth. You have to do what you do and find either pain or pleasure in it or both. i've been with a wonderful Khmer woman for almost a year. We've had our ups and downs. She is an honest, wonderful, stubborn and often acerbic person that I love dearly.  I found her by accident really.  She's made all the difference in my life here and I treasure all the day we have. Love always comes in different packages and looks. You cannot apply some golden rule to how love finds you or how you find it. Nor can you really go with the best intentioned advice here about what a Khmer woman may or not be like. There is no one Khmer woman. What I found is this person that is loyal, dependable, does for me without question, and wishes my happiness above all things. Then again, I do the same for her.

Finally, I don't believe a person can ever understand another person truly. I believe the Japanese say we are in fact three personas. There is the person we see, the person others see, and the person we really are. 

So if you feel a certain way about a woman, it is up to you. We can sit here and discuss the merits or follies until forever but we cannot walk a mile in your shoes. If we did, we'd have your shoes and be a mile away.

@Moxy1311

Just take things slow. Don't let yourself get pressured into anything.

And keep in your mind that there are plenty more out there.

I live in Thailand just over the border from Siem Reap. And married to a Thai.

I admired and like Cambodian woman a lot.

Don't hurry.

@Moxy1311 Honestly, you get along great because you are getting attention from a younger attractive woman that is being nice to you because she knows you will help her provide for her family. There's no relationship “Love” like we see in the West. Marriage is just another transactional activity in Cambodia, that's why she said she would marry the 1st person to ask. She wants to not be an unmarried outcast, she wants financial support and she wants children to take care of her when she's older. If that beats being lonely for you, then have at it, but remember, once you're married shes going to seem like a hexenbeast and you're going to feel like an ATM. Don't listen to the other duped boomer expats over here that are in denial. This is the reality, this is the culture, take it or leave it.

@Philroth ya no such thing as love... so smart of you. Your chances of divorce with a usa woman is 20x greater. My wife loves me to death and would do anything for me. She never had a bf before me. Never kissed another man. Loves me so much and has given me 8 years of non stop love.

@Small Box

The last 2 posts are a refreshment of the bollocks that have been posted before.

Agreed, marriage between a senior guy and a younger Cambodian girl is not based on love but is an agreement, the man provides financial support and in exchange he gets the company of a lovely Cambodian girl, and lovely they are.

To my opinion, what is wrong with the OP situation is that he wants to take her to UK. To be honest, the UK is not heaven on earth and it would be a punishment for a Cambodian girl to live there. At 56 I guess the OP still works so he leaves the house at 8 am, leaving his Cambodian girl alone until 5 pm, would she be happy with that?

Then he explains UK standards of engagement, without consideration of Cambodian culture.

The girl sees the disaster coming, she loses her job and her independence, she loses contact with her mum and family and will be living in a foreign country with horrible weather.

So she got scared and I don't blame her.

Those guys that want a lovely Cambodian girl for marriage, work until you retire, expatriate to Cambodia and offer the girl of your dreams to stay in the country, that way she can keep her job and independence, keep in touch with her mum and family and live a happy life with the foreigner of her choice.

You both will be happy.

You won't be an ATM if you give her a monthly allowance with the agreement that she cannot ask for more money. Her money is hers, she can do with it what she wants but no more requests for more money.

Good luck.

Joe

    I have been talking with and met a khmer girl. I met her family the last time I was in the country and got permission from her parents to be her boyfriend which I believe is the custom.
I am 56 (today) and she is 33/34 never been married.
Things got a little heated today and during the course of the argument she said there are many that love her and the first to ask her parents to marry her she will marry. I
I asked her if that meant she has more boyfriends than just me and she was evasive and kept quoting following culture.
I am supposed to be travelling to Cambodia next week for her sisters wedding, and the plan was that we would get engaged after her sisters wedding.
Totally confused now, the argument itself was over european views on getting engaged and she got frustrated because she didnt understand what I was saying after multiple attempts to explain. Her forever goto response is we should split and I should find somebody that understands her.
the sad thing is we get along really well, and when we are together we really click and have good feelings.
   

    -@Moxy1311

Very well said and most insightful . . . as usual

I was or engaged to a Khmer lady for over 12 month.    Met the parents multiple times and everyt seemed OK until I checked her phone (that I gave her). 

She was stringing 9 guys along.    asking for land and mo. 

Needless to say, I dropped her like a hot potatoe.

she ended up marrying a German guy, had 2 babies and while waiting for her visa,  went back to old methods.

Not all girls are like that but Word of caution - get a pre-nuptial.  If she says no, then take Joe's advice and look for someone older and more settled.

@Moxy1311

if her goto is 'we should split' then at your age you should know this is a red flag. If someone is willing to throw away a relationship rather than put in effort... donyou really want to be in that relationship?

Alternatively if she is saying 'we should split' to dominate you and give her relationship control... do you really want to be in the relationship?

Take the opportunity to run.. while you can and its not costing you a fortune.

On the flip side..no it doesnt mean she has other bfs (although she may) it means there are other suitors. Others the family knows and others who have tried to court her. They are not relevant as she is there with you. Its just leverage. Take the opportunity to run.

having just divorced a thai lady after 15yrs it was bringing her bsck to Aus thst destroyed the relationship. She became westernised quickly. She was depressed and lonely. she became violent.

Now she is hunting me down for 70% of my assets.. so I am selling everything and moving to Cambodia before rhe divorce courts get me.

Think very carefully about bringing her back... what will she do... where is her khmer network snd what kind of ppl are they? will they tell her to divorce you snd take your money? will she gamble? how will she get a job? the west is a huge culture shock. I had a happy marriage for 8 years with no red flags.... think carefully about how she will manage the transition

not saying dont do it... also the age gap is not too bad.

my father was 61 when my mother had me and thye had just got married a year before. unfortunately he died when i was 9... but i am glad i was born! (so thanks Dad!). My point is that my mother was 30 years his junior. She loved him deeply and now shes 92 she sleeps with their wedding photo next to the bed. Your not to old nor is she too young. Take notice of the red flags! but dont be blind to green ones either.

@Wobo I think that is a huge part of the relationship to think about, I agree. I have been with a khmer lady for over 4 years now, we get on well together, although actual marriage is off the cards for me. I am from NZ and she often talks about going back there with me to live, but it would never work. Here in Siem Reap she spends a lot of time with her relatives, and has regular meals and drinks with her sisters. They go to the pagoda together and always celebrate the festivals etc - I dont go, I see buddhism as almost superstitious nonsense the way they do it here, praying for good luck, asking buddha to help them etc. But if she wants to do all that I have no objection.

But back in NZ she would be completely isolated from that, and from her family, and it wouldnt last 6 months.

You know what happens to fish out of water, they dont last long.

Us Europeans are much tougher I think. I came here on my own, didnt know anyone, and have made a life here. The difference is there are a lot of similar expats around and while making friends is never easy, over time we can build our social lives without learning more than 2 words of the local language. Back in NZ the only Cambodians I know about are the owners of the Angkor bakery on Napier high street, and I think they were born in NZ.

Is getting married so important? I guess if there is property ownership etc involved it might be, otherwise just find a nice khmer lady to take care of you as you get older - thats my plan anyway.

Well said & wise.

@Moxy1311 ho dear a lamb to the slaughter!!!!    all you are to them is a meal ticket there only intention is to extract has much cash from you in as short time possible there good ones but impossible to find they are experts in there indevers simply never trust them I found out the hard way

@hdgh29

Good reply buddy, it can be very difficult for old fashioned devout khmer Buddhist ladies to survive outside of Thier homeland, for foreign men it's lot easier,

@toni345th I would never take my partner out of Cambodia. Her soul is here. Her life. Family is so important to her. She wants to visit places with me but living outside Cambodia would not work for her. Much easier to take her to places she has not been in Asia. She has not been to Bali and flights out of Siem Reap airport are nicely priced now.  She also wants Singapore. I've been there,  lived there, worked there but she wants to see the gardens by the bay, botanic garden, etc. So we will do that too.

Best thing to me is what David said. It has been easy for me living wherever for the years I've gone. The US is barely a whisper. I do miss Mexico sometimes. Vietnam is another story and this is the Cambodia forum :-)

@Pablo joule Sounds like you had a bad experience, but that is not everyone's experience. The guys who get ripped off are the ones who enter into a relationship with a khmer woman without understanding the culture or mentality and expect them to be the same as Western women. Of course they are not, and they have different motivations. Sure, money is a big thing for many, in a country where there is no social security - if you dont work you dont eat - and average incomes are around $200 a month. But I know many expats, older ones especially, who have found happiness with a khmer lady, usually much younger, and they take care of each other according to their needs without anyone being ripped off. Maybe you are think of Thailand, land of smiling hookers?